I've come to realize my life has been reduced to a bunch of memes. Not because that's all I'm worth, but more simply that I don't know how to express the endless thoughts churning in my head. The memes are often so perfect, but then I feel like they become repetitive. Or even that I'm far less cynical doom and gloomy. I'm actually starting to feel happy some days. Sometimes. More times than before. Enough times that I almost dare to hope that it will stick.
I've always hated soap operas, and my life has been one giant mess of one for too long now. I'll be so glad when things sort out and I can pull away from all things drama. I know it's ultimately up to me to do just that, but when you've lived a certain way for such a long time, there's an adjustment period. I don't dare hope that I'm out of the darkness just yet. I'm close. So very close. One positive from a couple days ago... my co-worker told me she hadn't seen me smile so much in a long, long while. I remember blushing, feeling like a giddy school girl for a moment. There was a reason behind it. I liked that feeling. I want more of it.
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